Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Counting Down

Written on 13/10/2012

One of the many reasons that Cancer sucks is that a lot of the treatments make you feel dreadful. I only have a theoretical knowledge, but chemo and radiation conjure up ideas of horrific side effects.

And while surgery is necessary and can be curative, some of the healthy tissue nearby needs to be removed, or is damaged. And with pelvic surgery, there are lots of important structures including nerves that control the boy bits. I heaved a big sigh of relief, when Mr C said that he was hopeful about being able to avoid the pelvic nodes. We talked about risks of sexual dysfunction (ugh!), and were quoted 30 percent chance. With the caveat that about 30 percent of men have issues in that area ! OD was very quick to pipe up during the consultation that " I've never had problems in that department apart from in the last week...". Whoops, obviously missed my cue there to wax lyrical about his prowess at bedroom acrobatics!

Something else that freaks me out about the prospect of chemo/rad is the effect on his little swimmers. When we planned a long term future, I had always made it clear that I might want children. I freak out about the impact it will have on my career and lifestyle, but there are certain other appeals. One of the best and worst things about OD is the relationship he has with his kids. I very often feel a little left out or even jealous when they are reminiscing about their childhoods and family" in jokes". He's one of those approachable dads, who is sometimes so laid-back, he's horizontal. Very unlike my "tiger-mother"!

Anyway- this is obviously something that I don't have control over- all the cancer advice is to "Not sweat the small stuff...". Fretting about it probably doesn't help..but I am, just a little!

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